While Daddy and Mommy pushed me around in the bright, windy outside, I had a terrific idea. My car-seat in the stroller always makes me cry whenever it stops. I just can't stand the stillness and being all strapped in. It makes me crinkle up my face and cry out my distaste for the car seat.
That brings me back to my terrific idea. You know that movie Speed? Well, it's a little bit before my time, but I wanted to create an updated version. It will be called "Stroller Speed". The idea is that a bad man has rigged me to cry if my stroller speed drops below 2 miles per hour.
I've already got the casting for this movie figured out.
I will be played by Keanu Reeves. He can really evoke my presence on screen. He's very attractive and has great hair. He's not good at speaking roles or roles that call for complex emoting. He's great at staring into the camera with a blank, sleepy look. See--perfect fit!
Now, my mommy can't actually play the woman who has to steer and wheel my stroller faster than 2 miles per hour. So I thought I'd cast Mrs. Cow because she reminds me of Sandra Bullock. Mrs. Cow is "udderly" cute and she's also homely like Sandra in a down-on-the-farm kind of way.
As for the hero, I'll cast Patrick Stewart. Both he and my dad don't have much hair, so that works.
In the end Patrick Stewart will rescue Keanu and Mrs. Cow from the stroller and catch the bad guy, Mr. Poopie Diaper (acted by Chuck Norris). Then, Keanu, Mrs. Cow, and Patrick Stewart will all live happily ever after.
I ran this idea by Mommy and Daddy, and they told me they'll get me out of this car-seat stroller and into my big-boy stroller ASAP.
Stay tuned for more Yonah adventures!
Love
Yonah
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Bath time with Yonah
Dear readers,
I want to describe to you the delights of bath time and the difficulties of being only seven weeks old.
First off, I realize I have these things attached to my body that wiggle around my face. These things have smaller things attached to them that I can almost get into my mouth. I bet they'd be nice and tasty--a good snack in between meals. One day soon I'll figure out how to get them in there. I've already figured out how to get these things out of Daddy and Mommy's swaddles with relative ease, much to their chagrin, so it's only a matter of time before I can fit them in my mouth.
I digress. The point is, I can't use these things--I think they're called hands and fingers--to wipe away the milk that drips down my cheeks and under my neck. Actually, I love eating so much, I don't even like when Mommy and Daddy make me stop so they can swab away the milk hiding under my fluffly cheeks. The only problem is, I start smelling funky after a day, and by day two of the milk build up, I smell equally sweet and sour.
That's when Mommy and Daddy put me in the bath.
I hate being naked, but I love being covered in the warm, gentle water that reminds me of hanging out in Mommy. For the first minute I'm a very confused baby. But then I relax and let Mommy rub the sudsy stuff all over my front and under my cheeks and chin, where the sour milk went. Daddy kind of watches (although he gave me a bath all by himself once), until its time to turn me over and get my back. Just to make it extra hard for Daddy, I kick and wail while he holds me over the water and Mommy washes my back and bottom. I love bath time, but I can't let Mommy and Daddy off the hook too easily or else they'll try to bathe me every day.
And I won't like daily washing for another 13 years, at least!
Now that I think about it, I haven't been washed in a few days. And--phew--there is a funky smell coming from under my chin. Guess that means bath time again today!
Looking forward to getting washed,
Yonah Meir Weinberg
I want to describe to you the delights of bath time and the difficulties of being only seven weeks old.
First off, I realize I have these things attached to my body that wiggle around my face. These things have smaller things attached to them that I can almost get into my mouth. I bet they'd be nice and tasty--a good snack in between meals. One day soon I'll figure out how to get them in there. I've already figured out how to get these things out of Daddy and Mommy's swaddles with relative ease, much to their chagrin, so it's only a matter of time before I can fit them in my mouth.
I digress. The point is, I can't use these things--I think they're called hands and fingers--to wipe away the milk that drips down my cheeks and under my neck. Actually, I love eating so much, I don't even like when Mommy and Daddy make me stop so they can swab away the milk hiding under my fluffly cheeks. The only problem is, I start smelling funky after a day, and by day two of the milk build up, I smell equally sweet and sour.
That's when Mommy and Daddy put me in the bath.
I hate being naked, but I love being covered in the warm, gentle water that reminds me of hanging out in Mommy. For the first minute I'm a very confused baby. But then I relax and let Mommy rub the sudsy stuff all over my front and under my cheeks and chin, where the sour milk went. Daddy kind of watches (although he gave me a bath all by himself once), until its time to turn me over and get my back. Just to make it extra hard for Daddy, I kick and wail while he holds me over the water and Mommy washes my back and bottom. I love bath time, but I can't let Mommy and Daddy off the hook too easily or else they'll try to bathe me every day.
And I won't like daily washing for another 13 years, at least!
Now that I think about it, I haven't been washed in a few days. And--phew--there is a funky smell coming from under my chin. Guess that means bath time again today!
Looking forward to getting washed,
Yonah Meir Weinberg
Diaper Fiasco!
This morning I turned seven weeks old, and I decided to play a trick on daddy to celebrate!
One of my new favorite activities is to stretch a lot when I wake up. I put my hand up over my head, arch my back, and bring my feet up close to my hips. Mommy and Daddy think I'm extra adorable when I do this. But I have a secret I've been hiding from them...
I'm actually farting and pooping in my diaper while I stretch! And I can keep that going for about twenty minutes on a good day. Today was a very good day, and I stretched and stretched until Daddy thought I was all finished.
Then he took me over to the changing table where my friend Mrs. Cow lives. While he was changing my diaper, I kept pooping! It was sooooo fun watching his bewildered expression and the panic creep into his eyes. He kept trying to use wipies on me, but I kept letting loose. Then he got another diaper on me.
Yeah, he thought I was all finished, but I started to poop all over that one too. My surprise was working wonderfully! Just as he switched diapers again, I topped off my birthday celebration with a big pish. This would have been truly amazing, but Daddy had somehow managed to cover my pee pee with a cup and prevented me from soaking the whole area. Oh well, there's always next Sunday. I'm glad Daddy has such a good sense of humor and could find the fun in my diaper escapades.
After all that hard work, I got very tired and took another long nap, thinking of how best to surprise Daddy next.
Sincerely,
Yonah Meir Weinberg
One of my new favorite activities is to stretch a lot when I wake up. I put my hand up over my head, arch my back, and bring my feet up close to my hips. Mommy and Daddy think I'm extra adorable when I do this. But I have a secret I've been hiding from them...
I'm actually farting and pooping in my diaper while I stretch! And I can keep that going for about twenty minutes on a good day. Today was a very good day, and I stretched and stretched until Daddy thought I was all finished.
Then he took me over to the changing table where my friend Mrs. Cow lives. While he was changing my diaper, I kept pooping! It was sooooo fun watching his bewildered expression and the panic creep into his eyes. He kept trying to use wipies on me, but I kept letting loose. Then he got another diaper on me.
Yeah, he thought I was all finished, but I started to poop all over that one too. My surprise was working wonderfully! Just as he switched diapers again, I topped off my birthday celebration with a big pish. This would have been truly amazing, but Daddy had somehow managed to cover my pee pee with a cup and prevented me from soaking the whole area. Oh well, there's always next Sunday. I'm glad Daddy has such a good sense of humor and could find the fun in my diaper escapades.
After all that hard work, I got very tired and took another long nap, thinking of how best to surprise Daddy next.
Sincerely,
Yonah Meir Weinberg
My first Seder Experience
When I was six weeks and one day old, I celebrated my first Passover Seder with Mommy, Daddy, their friends, and their friends' parents. I have to admit, I'm a little bit confused about Passover Seders.
All other nights, I go to bed between seven and nine. But that night I didn't really go to bed at all! I took little naps, but the excitement kept me awake. There were all these different steps to dinner and some people were speaking and singing in English and Hebrew. No one knows yet, but I understand and speak both languages perfectly, I've just taken a vow of silence.
Anyway, Seder means "ordered", kind of like my parents hope my schedule will become in the next few weeks and months. First you sanctify a cup of wine, then you wash your hands, then you dip a vegetable in salt water, then you tell a story, then you eat matzah, then you eat the bitter herbs (yuck!), then you have a giant meal, then you thank G-d for the meal, then we all sing our praise to G-d for the miracles that took place when he took the ancient Hebrews out of Egypt, and then we eat some more matzah. Mommy and Daddy also drank four big glasses of wine and were acting pretty wacky. Then again, Daddy is always a little wacky (just not from four glasses of wine).
I don't mean to skip around, but mommy also lit candles for the holiday before the meal started, and those bright lights really helped keep me awake, too!
The Seder meal is very confusing. I asked a lot of questions--why is this night different from all other nights? Why do we talk about four different sons, the wise, wicked, simple, and one who doesn't know how to ask? (So far, I'm a very wise son)? Why isn't Moses mentioned at all in the passover Seder when he was the main star of the Exodus? Why does it take so long? All of these questions have really good answers, but it sounds like the older grown-ups like to skip to the end. When I'm older, I'll make sure I get answers! I'll make sure I ask even more questions! This time, I kept asking questions, but mommy and daddy tried to put me to sleep everytime.
Next year, G-d willing, I'll be able to crawl around and look for a piece of matzah called the afikomen, which has to be eaten before midnight. This is going to be difficult, I know, so I'll start training now!
Looking forward to seeing you all at my next passover Seder!
Good yontiv
(Happy Holiday),
Yonah Meir Weinberg
All other nights, I go to bed between seven and nine. But that night I didn't really go to bed at all! I took little naps, but the excitement kept me awake. There were all these different steps to dinner and some people were speaking and singing in English and Hebrew. No one knows yet, but I understand and speak both languages perfectly, I've just taken a vow of silence.
Anyway, Seder means "ordered", kind of like my parents hope my schedule will become in the next few weeks and months. First you sanctify a cup of wine, then you wash your hands, then you dip a vegetable in salt water, then you tell a story, then you eat matzah, then you eat the bitter herbs (yuck!), then you have a giant meal, then you thank G-d for the meal, then we all sing our praise to G-d for the miracles that took place when he took the ancient Hebrews out of Egypt, and then we eat some more matzah. Mommy and Daddy also drank four big glasses of wine and were acting pretty wacky. Then again, Daddy is always a little wacky (just not from four glasses of wine).
I don't mean to skip around, but mommy also lit candles for the holiday before the meal started, and those bright lights really helped keep me awake, too!
The Seder meal is very confusing. I asked a lot of questions--why is this night different from all other nights? Why do we talk about four different sons, the wise, wicked, simple, and one who doesn't know how to ask? (So far, I'm a very wise son)? Why isn't Moses mentioned at all in the passover Seder when he was the main star of the Exodus? Why does it take so long? All of these questions have really good answers, but it sounds like the older grown-ups like to skip to the end. When I'm older, I'll make sure I get answers! I'll make sure I ask even more questions! This time, I kept asking questions, but mommy and daddy tried to put me to sleep everytime.
Next year, G-d willing, I'll be able to crawl around and look for a piece of matzah called the afikomen, which has to be eaten before midnight. This is going to be difficult, I know, so I'll start training now!
Looking forward to seeing you all at my next passover Seder!
Good yontiv
(Happy Holiday),
Yonah Meir Weinberg
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Yonah's Top Ten
Dear Readers,
My name is Yonah Meir. My parents named me Yonah after my great grandmother Joyce. It's a tad tricky to follow, but the Hebrew letter for the "y" sound was anglicized to "j". Don't ask me why. Yonah means dove, and my parents got it right so far. I am very pleasant. My parents also named me Meir after my great grandfather (Mayer) and possibly my great great grandfather, Meir. So far, I look a lot like great grandpa Mayer--I'm kind of bald and a bit wrinkly. I also complain a lot when I need to use the bathroom.
Next Sunday, I will celebrate turning 7 weeks old. As you can guess, I'm dictating to my parents since I don't have the motor skills to write. I hope they get everything down right!
While I'm only 6 weeks and 5 days old, I've developed plenty of likes. Here's my top ten:
10. Picking up my head when I'm getting burped. I can even head-butt mommy and daddy in the face now. It's awesome.
9. Bright lights. They're so shiny--don't you just love that?
8. Listening to three trippy songs in my swings. If mommy and daddy put me underneath some shiny lights, I'm in heaven.
7. Getting wrapped up in mommy's sling. I like it so much, I can't stay awake.
6. Getting out of my swaddle. Next up, escaping my crib! mwahahahaha!!
5. Mrs. Cow, my friend at changing time. Sometimes she flies over my head. Sometimes she attacks me. Other times she just lays around, and I like looking at her. Then again, I also like knocking her down when mommy and daddy aren't watching.
4. Daddy. He's super groovy. I like escaping from his swaddles after he's put me down. See number 6.
3. Daddy's pinky. It tastes really good, I can suck on that thing for about 10 minutes before I pass out.
2. Mommy. She's the best woman in the whole world. Much more friendly than Mrs. Cow.
1. Meal time. This restaurant is always open, even when I get the 4am munchies. And it's free. What beats that?!
Next, I will explain my first Passover Seder, which I stayed up all night enjoying.
All the best,
little Yonah Meir
My name is Yonah Meir. My parents named me Yonah after my great grandmother Joyce. It's a tad tricky to follow, but the Hebrew letter for the "y" sound was anglicized to "j". Don't ask me why. Yonah means dove, and my parents got it right so far. I am very pleasant. My parents also named me Meir after my great grandfather (Mayer) and possibly my great great grandfather, Meir. So far, I look a lot like great grandpa Mayer--I'm kind of bald and a bit wrinkly. I also complain a lot when I need to use the bathroom.
Next Sunday, I will celebrate turning 7 weeks old. As you can guess, I'm dictating to my parents since I don't have the motor skills to write. I hope they get everything down right!
While I'm only 6 weeks and 5 days old, I've developed plenty of likes. Here's my top ten:
10. Picking up my head when I'm getting burped. I can even head-butt mommy and daddy in the face now. It's awesome.
9. Bright lights. They're so shiny--don't you just love that?
8. Listening to three trippy songs in my swings. If mommy and daddy put me underneath some shiny lights, I'm in heaven.
7. Getting wrapped up in mommy's sling. I like it so much, I can't stay awake.
6. Getting out of my swaddle. Next up, escaping my crib! mwahahahaha!!
5. Mrs. Cow, my friend at changing time. Sometimes she flies over my head. Sometimes she attacks me. Other times she just lays around, and I like looking at her. Then again, I also like knocking her down when mommy and daddy aren't watching.
4. Daddy. He's super groovy. I like escaping from his swaddles after he's put me down. See number 6.
3. Daddy's pinky. It tastes really good, I can suck on that thing for about 10 minutes before I pass out.
2. Mommy. She's the best woman in the whole world. Much more friendly than Mrs. Cow.
1. Meal time. This restaurant is always open, even when I get the 4am munchies. And it's free. What beats that?!
Next, I will explain my first Passover Seder, which I stayed up all night enjoying.
All the best,
little Yonah Meir
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)